long rant

This is one of my self-analogy/reflections post.

All this may sound very random or crappy, or i may just sound like rambling, but hey, its my blog.

Today, as i was waiting for the bus to come back. I started thinking a bit, about why i am the way i am. Why i'm still single, why i'm so carefree, why why why.

And i came to the conclusion...

I never had a goal. There was never anything to look forward to. I didn't know What i want. Everything's either black or white, no in between.

Now, lets apply it to my love life. Without a goal, 'anyone' could be my gf. Since i didn't really know what i want, i wouldn't actively go for anyone. I don't think i even tried seriously the last few years, all because i don't know what i really want.
Everything's black and white. I either love someone a hell lot, or i don't.

I think that's the way my mind has been thinking for some time now. And i Know, that this isn't working. I don't even have to put it against my love life, against studies... or anything.

And i realise i give up too easily.. couple that with low self esteem, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

This cannot go on....... it really can't. I'm actually a very simple person... i just want to hold someone i love, and grow old with her, caring less about other stuff.

But that's not going to happen of course. That's never going to happen.

One thing is life in SG is getting increasingly and ridiculously harder to live. GST just got upped, and they give us a pittance of the money we'll be spending more on everyday. Just spent 2 years of my life in a black hole... other than learning some general knowledge, what have i achieved?

Oooh and listen, our MM says that we're at a golden time! Wow! Ministers' salaries got raised to more than 100k a month, GST increased, we're attracting more foreign talent... hey, isn't that cause for joy?

Probably in 2010 GST will be raised to 10%, no wait, probably 2012 after PAP wins another election cause everyone is just too scared to vote for the opposition. What people don't realise is that a 2% GST hike is not $2 for every $100 spent. This affects the whole 'supply chain'.

Some suppliers at the top have been absorbing the GST hike, but with this 2% added in i don't think they can absorb that much lar. So lets assume they used to pay $100 for this batch of .. 1000 erasers, and selling us for 50cents a piece. Now with the hike they're paying $100 for 800 erasers, and they can't sell us at $50cents now can they? They'll raise it to at least 70 or 80cents.

And this is just for the basic necessities.. Hasn't anyone realised that a chocolate bar used to cost $1, but now costs up to $1.60?

cause of the 7% gst? Or what? you decide..

Starhub has raised prices, transport hikes are becoming the norm, and hey, they're declaring millions of profits. Its not like they're making a loss lor. Wah liew eh.

Sooooo.. lets put it this way. We're at a Golden age... Our pay isn't increasing because we need to stay competitive, but everything else is rising... Supposedly i go study for uni, currently i'm already paying $90 for my insurance, and $100 for the CPF loan i took from my dad for my poly.

I'm earning 1.5k a month at the moment. No i'm sorry, 1.2k .. forgot about the stupid CPF. So $200 already gone. left maybe 1k. Food & Transport gotta cost at least $100. I get 900.

Suppose i go study for uni. Its going to cost at least 16k. I need to work for what, 2 years before i can go study for 2 years? Wow. That's not going to happen ... that's why everyone's half studying, half working.

And wow, think about it.. after we graduate we're going to want better jobs, so we work hard and slog and slog... but don't forget! There's reservist! So in that month you're gone, some of Singapore's prized assets the Foreign Talent may just take over your job! You're constantly working at 11 months, while others get 12. Not to mention the 2 years of a 'headstart' again *cough*.

So by the time i finish my studies, i'll be 26. And either struggling to pay off debts, or trying to distinguish myself in my new career. Supposedly i get a gf now and get married at the age of 28... i need to get a HDB flat for myself..

Nope, i'm not talking about cars here, just a HDB flat... and the govt expects us to have kids?

Oei. You're kidding me lar. How to have kids when we cannot even tahan to live happily? I'm not talking about a car leh, just downpayment for HDB, then tv, then chairs, sofas, etc.

Congrats to the Govt for making us So kiasu. And people wonder WHY we're so kiasu.
I think i can understand now.

You know, barring any unforeseen circumstances, i'm seriously thinking of migrating. Just by myself. I'll just leave everything behind, cause i don't think my friends can... not many of them anyways.

Okay, this turned out to be a rant... but yea, Icy jie got me thinking, and i just wanted to type it all out. Thanks for the food for thought...

I gotta do some planning.