There's so much i want to say, but i don't know what to.

In fact, i don't know if anyone reads this anymore, but since this also serves as a diary of sorts, i guess it would be to my benefit if i continue to update this...

I was just talking to roy, and i signed up a facebook account to see a memorial page of Steph. Sigh, it was pretty... and sad. Damn, its these kind of events that makes you think Good people either suffer here on earth, or die young.

Lets do this in reverse chronological order:

I just came back from a BBQ with Weixiang, Hockpeng(Steve), Alvin, Juliet, Shiting(xuting)(Wx's gf), Ming yi?(Minnie, Shiting's friend).

Well, alot of people(at least 4-6 more) were expected to come, but they didn't. Pity, cause we had quite alot of spare food in the end.

Basically, what happened is that me, Steve and Wx were driven to Pasir Ris park by his dad & mom, and the 3 of us wheeled the bbq pit over to find Shiting and Minnie already there.

i guess i should comment on how she looks like, relatively short, around 1.56+?, cute smile, nice short hair, cute smile, need i say more?

We set-up the stuff together, and Steve & I set up the fire. Wx got to be the master chef, so after the fire was set up, the 4 of us had quite a lot of time. Initially Steve talked to me, and Shiting to Minnie, but after some time there was some silence.

A few moments later Wx suggested playing with cards, and that's what we did. From many matches of Blackjack, to just taking cards, seeing who's bigger, just so we can finish the food and drinks that we brought with us. I remember eating alot of otak, some hot dog, and some chicken. I wasn't that hungry, so i just pecked at the food when i had the chance.

Steve commented earlier that she would be suitable for me, but i told him that i don't have any feelings for her, and its true. But halfway through i found that her smile was infectious, and i kept smiling for the rest of the night. I haven't really laughed/smiled like that for some time now, or have i?

Alvin and Juliet came about an hour after us, and also helped to cook. But wx was there 90% of the time, while the 4 of us played games(sometimes 3, cause Steve had to answer a few calls here and then).

Eventually Alvin and Juliet left, and Steve too, as he has to go to a ktv pub to join his friends, leaving Wx, me, Shiting and Minnie.

Well, i could tell that they wanted to leave for home quite some time ago, but Wx took some time in cleaning up all the equipment he has, and even took out a packet of potatoes and ate it after cleaning up most of the equipment.

He was eating it rather slowly, and talking to me at the same time. Then as we were leaving off, M and S walked quite a distance in front of us, and i could tell that she was a bit pissed.

Well, one thing about Wx is that for all his planning, knowledge and merits, he has no sense of urgency whatsoever. A movie can be starting at 7, and he strolls in at 7:15. Quite a common scenario back then.

So M walks ahead of us, with a black face, until we reached the taxi. The taxi uncle decided to let S off first, cause it was nearer, and when Wx sent her up, i tried to engage in some friendly banter with her, but she wasn't quite in the mood, so i gave up since Wx came back.

Sent her off, and i forgot to mention that on the way back, i asked wx how much he knows about M. He told me that she's quite Anti-Social, and when she goes out with S & Wx, she usually doesn't speak to Wx. She almost didn't want to come to this bbq cause she heard that alot of Wx's friends are coming.

So S was quite shocked tonight, that M actually seemed to enjoy herself so much. Yea, i noticed that she laughs quite alot actually, she's quite receptive to my jokes when the time is right, but when it isn't, it can get pretty cold, like when we first met each other.

There are actually many points about her that i like, like her blurness ... but it isn't all pretty.. i kind of feel an unhappiness around her when she's cold and quiet. Truth be told, i really want to be her friend, to see if i can uncover that dark cloud. Seh, i remind myself of my sassy girl. Bleh =_=

So yup, things aren't usually as pretty as it seems. And i just realised that if she ends up reading this, i'm so screwed. So lets hope that she never does.

Okay, that's it for today's post. I want to change my blog layout so you all can read better, but i haven't been looking for any good backgrounds yet, bleh.