I have a friend..

Who looks like Silver in Jue Dui Superstar...

You know Silver? She also acted in the Love Concierge as Fiona Xie's friend..
This Silver is also rumoured to be with my good friend Darryl...

And...

She looks EXACTLY like my dear friend Celine!

Yes! I kid you not! I swear they are god sisters or something..

Especially in that Jue Ding Superstar New Year MTV. Everytime i see Silver i see Celine!

Been wanting to post this for a long time..~ Eh Cel..?


Just for Emphasis, i have put their photos below... side by side. For your viewing pleasure.
Please remember that i bring this report to you at the wrath of Princess Celine... but its all for you guys, my viewers... (er, readers)





%tage of closeness = 100%

Love story~

Don't harbour regrets... if there's someone in your life that you love, just let them know...

10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called
"best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.

After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade

The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep.

She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year

The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step! I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn`t see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read:

I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!

I wish I did too... I thought to my self, and I cried.

I was trying to sleep...

But 2 phonecalls and 1 grandmother visit later...

Here i am.

For those of you who has been wondering how my new year has been... well, quite simply.
I've been sick since Friday. Sick! Fever, feeling cold, blocked nose, blocked ears, feeling weak. That kinda thing.

I got prescribed 7 drugs in total, and it wasn't until i finished them that i feel better. Are medicines supposed to work like this?

Friday to Tuesday = holiday, but i only feel alive today...
So much for holidays..

I was on duty on Fri and Sun as well.

And yea, lets just say alot of things happened... mostly things that should be overlooked and forgotton, things that shouldn't be written here lor. Otherwise make me so gek again..

To make it short, nowadays things have a way of happening that 'interrupts' me... from sleeping or enjoying my recreation..

Tomorrow is another workday, and i'm loathe to think of what will happen. Think there's a test, and i'm just well, not prepared..

Pray that i get to come home more often, so i'll be able to update my blog.. haha..~

My friends were saying..

That i'm too serious...

And i'll never get a girlfriend because of it..
So says 2 combat medic friends who have known me for 3 months +...

Which is true i guess. I don't know why i'm so serious either...

Meh. Maybe its just the way i am..

They suggested i get a gf who can lighten me up...

Interesting thoughts all of them..~

Sick cat

Yesterday would be one of the worse days in my medical centre life..

I was feeling so sick.. i felt so weak, and cold..brr.. i'm still feeling cold right now.
As i went to see the doctor, he prescribed me 7 types of medicine... 7 types! Even the Dispensary medic asked me to take the medicine myself...

sheesh.

So happens i was on duty, meaning i can't take MC. Else i would not be here at all...

I spent the afternoon sleeping a bit. But only a bit, cause i kept waking up. And i did my Audit stuff...

i really don't want to be sick... and i have to be on duty tomorrow as well.. yawns... save me..~

Love Story

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called
"best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.

After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade

The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep.

She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year

The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step! I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn`t see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read:

I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!

I wish I did too... I thought to my self, and I cried.

I Love You..~

Love story

Here's another love story... this one with a better ending..~ Enjoy..~

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The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with the white cane made her way carefully up the steps. She paid the driver and, using her hands to feel the location of the seats, walked down the aisle and found the seat he'd told her was empty. Then she settled in, placed her briefcase on her lap and rested her cane against her leg.

It had been a year since Susan, 34, became blind. Due to a medical misdiagnosis she had been rendered sightless, and she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness, anger, frustration and self-pity. And all she had to cling to was her husband, Mark.

Mark was an Air Force officer and he loved Susan with all his heart. When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink into despair and was determined to help his wife gain the strength and confidence she needed to become independent again.

Finally, Susan felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get there? She used to take the bus, but was now too frightened to get around the city by herself. Mark volunteered to drive her to work each day, even though they worked at opposite ends of the city. At first, this comforted Susan, and fulfilled Mark's need to protect his sightless wife who was so insecure about performing the slightest task.

Soon, however, Mark realized the arrangement wasn't working. Susan is going to have to start taking the bus again, he admitted to himself. But she was still so fragile, so angry - how would she react? Just as he predicted, Susan was horrified at the idea of taking the bus again.

"I'm blind!", she responded bitterly. "How am I supposed to know where I am going? I feel like you're abandoning me."

Mark's heart broke to hear these words, but he knew what had to be done. He promised Susan that each morning and evening he would ride the bus with her, for as long as it took, until she got the hang of it. And that is exactly what happened. For two solid weeks, Mark, military uniform and all, accompanied Susan to and from work each day.

He taught her how to rely on her other senses, specifically her hearing, to determine where she was and how to adapt to her new environment. He helped her befriend the bus drivers who could watch out for her, and save her a seat.

Finally, Susan decided that she was ready to try the trip on her own. Monday morning arrived, and before she left, she threw her arms around Mark, her temporary bus-riding companion, her husband, and her best friend. Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude for his loyalty, his patience, And his love. She said good-bye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday... Each day on her own went perfectly, and Susan had never felt better. She was doing it! She was going to work all by herself.

On Friday morning, Susan took the bus to work as usual. As she was paying the fare to exit the bus, the driver said, "Boy, I sure do envy you." Susan wasn't sure if the driver was speaking to her or not. After all, who on earth would ever envy a blind woman who had struggled just to find the courage to live for the past year? Curious, she asked the driver, "Why do you say that you envy me?"

The driver responded, "It must feel good to be taken care of and protected like you are." Susan had no idea what the driver was talking about, and again asked, "What do you mean?"

The driver answered, "You know, every morning for the past week, a fine-looking gentleman in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you as you get off the bus. He makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches until you enter your office building.

Then he blows you a kiss, gives you a little salute and walks away. You are one lucky lady." Tears of happiness poured down Susan's cheeks. For although she couldn't physically see him, she had always felt Mark's presence. She was lucky, so lucky, for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she didn't need to see to believe - the gift of love that can bring light where there is darkness.

I don't know how to start

I wanted to write about alot of things.. but hmm. When i finally get around to doing it... i feel like i got nothing to write.

She smsed me yesterday.. first time she sms me first lor.. So surprised~

I would like to say that really made my day, but it only brightened it a little... there are just too many doubts at this stage..

I was stuck doing boring admin stuff anyways. Did that for today as well.

Was supposed to go outstation but due to certain reasons(namely: RSN safety day), i stayed at the Medical Centre. Oh yea, i saw a patient today who's birthday was today... how sad, have to spend it at a medical centre..~ At least he wasn't sick though..

At night 11 of us went to Chevrons for KTV, cause they had free tickets. In the end we only paid $3 for the beer... (yea i drank beer. Heck, everyone had beer.)

I must say, i'm still not much of a drinker..

But i had fun, and that's all for this short post..~

Hah! Last but not least, i almost forgot. My Upperstudy said the more he looks at me, the more he thinks i look like Bobdog...

OMG!

Motivational Story

My dog can walk on water

There was a hunter who came into the possession of a special bird dog. The dog was the only one of its kind, because it can walk on water. One day he invited a friend to go hunting with him so that he could show off his prized possession. After some time, they shot a few ducks, which fell into the river. The man ordered his dog to run and fetch the birds. The dog ran on water to fetch the birds. The man was expecting a compliment about the amazing dog, but did not receive it. Being curious, he asked his friend if the friend had noticed anything unusual about the dog. The friend replied, “Yes, I did see something unusual about your dog. Your dog can’t swim!”

Success Principles

More than 90% of the people that we face everyday are negative. They choose to look at the hole in the middle rather than the doughnut. Do not expect compliments or encouragement from them. These are the people who cannot pull you out of your present situation. They can only push you down. So be aware of them, spend less time with them, and do not let them steal your dreams away from you.

Courtesy of http://www.capcess.com/ ... There's another story there which is quite interesting as well.

Short love stories

This is a new segment of my blog. For now til infinity, i shall post short love stories(that you have probably all read or heard before somewhere. Its just a refresher.) Don't ask me why i'm posting these. I just feel like doing it.. hah..~


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(A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle)
Girl: Slow down. Im scared.
Guy: No this is fun.
Girl: No its not. Please, its to scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.
(Girl hugs him)
Guy: Can u take my helmet off and put it on? Its bugging me.

In the paper the next day: A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on the motorcycle, but only one survived.
The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his breaks broke,
but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him, felt
her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so she would live even though it
meant he would die.

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New layout?

Ever since i read Celine's spoof about my blog.

I realised i'm really just doing this diary style..

So be on the lookout for New things, more random thoughts, less about what's happening in my life...

And to start it off...

I had dinner at Fish & Co.






And here's my first Pic for the entire blog... Rejoice!

People always say that the Seafood platter for 2 is very big and filling, but me and Jooseng managed to finish it all and not feel that full..

Hah! Apparantly this is really for 2 people. But wow, it still looks good...

The problem about HDB flats

No Ms Indian Auntie..

I don't really care whether your son/daughter is going to Australia, what they're doing there, whether they have already gone there, whether they exist.

What turns out to be a good start and middle, can turn out with a bad ending...

Or rather a stressful one..

Well. So much for that.

Ladder to heaven

I was watching Southpark, and there's an episode about a Ladder to Heaven...

Its really quite a cool idea right? To build a ladder to heaven so we can visit our friends who have departed from us in this world...

Anytime we want to see our friends, we just climb up the ladder..

Ah, not really in the mood to comment more about this.. maybe i'll write a story about this next time..

Inter medical Centre Soccer match!

Inter Medical Centre Soccer match!
Tuas MC vs Changi MC !

Who will win?

Ah... do i really care..? I had to wake up early...
Thankfully i managed to get a ride from my senior... so i can wake up at around 7am...
I slept late too. Just didn't want to sleep so early on a friday night.

Hmm, i just want to say that the Changi people looked kinda sian. Our side was full of energy and confidence. It was quite an even game, but we managed to score twice on the second half, securing our side as winners!

Therefore, we scored ourselves a free 'Zhu Chao' meal with Sgt Bernard's aunt! Yay! It wasn't a wasted trip after all~

Did i mention i'm the linesman? I had a real flag too~ Ain't that cool?

After the match, we went down to Bedok and had lunch. Came to a place called Sumo Place, and had lunch there... All 9 of us. Lazy to list names..

We chatted and talked... and just bonded..

Then took Jeremy's car back again.

In the afternoon when i reached home, Jx was using the ps2, sis was using comp.. therefore i just read and went to sleep..

Woke up and burnt alot of animes... my comp has memory again! Will continue burning later...

Truthfully speaking... i'm Bored... i need something new in my life..~

So ... tired...

Just finished a 1 hour chat with Kaili... it's really quite enjoyable..~ Should do this more often..~

Its been quite tiring for me lately... i keep trying to sleep early, but i keep waking up at 5:30+ or 6am.. then i try and sleep again and but always wake up so tired...

I think i'm losing my appetite too... past few days don't feel like eating... then today..
I had breakfast at home, some pastries and a cup of milk. Then i ate some food at the mobile canteen in Changi... yea, i had to go to Changi today for some Quality Assurance Course.. namely Fried rice with a bit of fried wanton and hotdog.

And i didn't eat anything til 9+pm. But i wasn't hungry at all...

What's wrong with me?

Highlights of the day are:

Managed to meet up with the rest of the medics..~ Catching up was quite fun..~
Watched the quality assurance video, which was quite funny..
Met up with weiquan, he passed me 20 dvds to burn my animes..~ Which i'll pass to him of course.
Played 2 hours+ of Wc3 with Gavin + Weiquan at Bukit Batok CC. They have a new 'lan shop' there, its free for now i think...
Reached home and chatted on the phone with Her. Its been some time since our last chat..~

I'm just so tired... i have to go to Changi again tomorrow, to watch a soccer game between Tuas Medical Centre and Changi Medical Centre...

Do i really care who wins..? I'm not playing anyways.. ahh..~ I just want to sleep..~

Feedback

As you know, this blog is still quite new, so please give me your feedback on the tag board or leave comments if you're free..

I just received feedback from a certain Princess Celine that my blog is too emotional.
Well, as some of you probably know, this blog is only open to people whom i'm close to, or rather my close friends. So its my way of letting you know what happens to me when i'm not around, and my thoughts...

So its supposed to be emotional... got it princess? haha..

On to the next feedback, also from our dear princess. I got alot of posts yea, but i guess i'm doing it diary style, at least when i'm bored i can look back and look at all the things that happened to me, as uninteresting as it is to you~

Just skip through anything that looks boring... (which effectively means you can stop coming to my blog.. haha..)

No other post for today. (What? Surprised?)

I'll be going to Changi for some Quality AC thing. I forgot what AC stands for.. but i have to be there pretty early. Thank God i got transportation tomorrow so i don't have to wake up at 5am or something... PHEW.

Watching the channel 8 show again... i'll be back.

Nalcom's Build It Up

I woke up once in the middle of the night, before falling back to sleep.
I had a weird dream which was very uninteresting and didn't make sense, so i didn't try to remember it.
But i woke up feeling quite comfortable.. and naturally, unwilling to leave the bed..

I had 2 hot dog buns, a cup of milk, and left the house. Reached Chinese Garden at about 7:45 i believe. Whoa. Got caught in the office crowd... but i saw quite a few pretty office ladies ... haha. The few girls reading this will probably shake their head... but well, this is the nature of guys, and seeing something pretty will cheer me up ... a while i suppose. I'm unattached anyways..~ When i'm attached i won't look anymore... i promise!

Haha.. What am i saying..?

I reached City hall, and we left for Funan's macdonalds to have breakfast. I had a Sausage Egg Muffin meal... before i realised i already had breakfast. I didn't feel hungry after that..

We walked up the long path to Fort Canning Park, and eventually managed to find the place. Not all 6 of us could be in the same team though, so we split into groups of 3.

We officially started at about 10am, and to kickstart the game, we had 2 eggs, and 15 straws and a roll of tape. We were supposed to wrap the eggs up in straws so that it doesn't crack when it falls from a certain height.

It was actually surprising easy, but we took a long time in making sure it wouldn't crack.

We had to move from station to station using the clues, which were 2 pictures showing us where we're supposed to go. And when we reach the station, we're supposed to do some certain task. Some of them has us matching picture with name and appointment of ministers, some has us playing Taboo, 1 even had us taking a picture at the Merlion.. haha.

Lets just say we walked alot, had quite some fun, and we managed to finish 3rd, though our prize was 4th cause the 4th team managed to get Merit points (which is really stupid. There are not supposed to be merit points, only demerits! All because they got ranking officers there.. grr.) Oh well. We did win $50 NTUC vouchers as 4th though. Beats having nothing.

Right, when we completed, we had lunch.. at around 2:30pm. Lunch consisted of 10 hot dogs, a box of tuna, one salad box, 2 loaves of bread, 1 pack of Chesdale cheese, 1 big bag of potato chips hot & spicy, 10 packets of peanuts, 10 wafer cakes, and 5 oranges with 5 apples. We had 1 bottle of blue er, blue liquid, and 10 bottles of orange juice as well.

The tuna tasted really good, it must be a long time since i ate tuna.. Did i forget to mention our goody bag which lasted us from 10-2:30pm? One mars bar, 2 bottles of mineral water, one lollipop, one oreo packet, 2 single mentos, one pandan wafer cake, a packet of tissue.

They have this thing again tomorrow, just that its for other people. Its all in good fun actually.

Except for the rain. Just before the prize presentation it rained quite badly, and it didn't stop until it ended and we reached PS. We wandered around a few shops and went to the arcade where i played 2 free games.. both were shooting games and ... both guns were spoilt.

I swear God is trying to tell me something.

Free things are not good. Its better to pay for them.

I was struggling so bad to play Time Crisis 3 where sometimes only 1 out of 10 bullets come out... or 1 out of 50 for that matter...

Reached home to watch Chan 8's 7pm show. Its really quite funny.. and the other funny show i'm watching of late is Southpark.. i love the kids..~

A song's lyrics to share ..

I really like this song.

Its titled "Mousukoshi... Mousukoshi... "
Literally translated, it means, "A little more.. A little more.."

English Translation
When I noticed I was thinking about you... I felt very embarassed And I really hate that feeling That's because I'm afraid to convey my feelings
Even though I suppress it in my head I can't do anything about my heart I don't let you notice it when we meet So it can be normal how I plan to talk to you
To act so composed has started to hurt Lying to you I will put away... but
A little more... A little more... If I can get closer to your heart A little more... A little more... So that this moment won't end
Please God, give me courage
When I'm alone with my bad crazy thoughts I worry about what you think of me I'm sorry I stepped forward to try to let you know
I'm not myself, I don't like the fog around my heart Depending on someone else makes me run away... but
A little more... A little more... If I can get beside you A little more... A little more... Night does not continue once dawn comes So wipe away your tears when you're feeling lonely
The glowing moon floats out into the heavens I'm not stronger or more confident See me smiling, look, OK?
A little more... A little more... If I can get beside you A little more... A little more... Night does not continue once dawn comes
A little more... A little more... If I can get closer to your heart A little more... A little more... So that this moment won't end
Please God, give me courage

That's the english translation. I'll happily send the song to anyone who's interested. This song is adapted from an Anime titled Midori No Hibi, in which a teenage boy's right hand gets turned into a girl! The girl is real, and is in a coma. Its really funny and sweet..

Anything can happen

If there's one thing i know from living all my 20+ years...

Its that anything can happen.

One minute you're happily chatting, expecting something big to happen,
And another, your heart is broken, everything gone down the drain.

But i know, that if we keep walking forward, we'll leave all these troubles behind..
And find something even better on our path forward..

Given a choice

If you were to choose between fulfilling your dreams, or to be with your love..

What would you choose?

Thoughts ..

Today was another busy day. I remember just stoning around for a few minutes, cause i was just too tired... mentally.

I guess there's nothing much for me to blog today, as i don't want to bore you with all the small details. I Am going to some Nalcom Treasure hunt thingy tomorrow, instead of going back to the medical centre. Lets hope we get to have some fun..~

Oh right, Edward will be staying with us til the end of this month, before he goes on to changi. Keat has landed back in Singapore today, will be reporting back to the med centre tomorrow i believe. Ivan teo still in India~

How could i forget~ At around 4+ most of us went out to the field and kicked some soccer. I got to be the goalie again... and it was quite fun. Mainly because it rained... Its been a long time since i'm out in the rain, and it wasn't a small rain either... The feeling is cool, but not cold. i guess "Shiok" would be the word to describe it.

We stopped playing at around 40 minutes later, when we heard the first rumble of thunder... its time to go back anyways.

I took 187 home, and i saw 3 Hongkah girls. They don't look the same as they did anymore. I think girls nowadays know how to dress, they all look better, and their hair is nice too. Reminds me so of Ms Lee Suyi.

Up til now, i still remember a few years back. It was Valentine's day and i was in the arcade, alone. And then i saw her, and she smiled at me and said "Hi". That moment, was the defining moment for that day. I wasn't feeling that happy before i met her, since i'm being Alone again that year, it isn't that surprising was it? She brightened up my day, and made me feel happier for a little while.

The only other lady that i've met who has that effect is perhaps Jooseng's agent. She just smiled at him, and whoa, i could feel the effect of it. I got blown away..

Haha. It would really be nice to know people who smile like that all the time, at you. Perhaps that's halfway to being falling in love?

I watched the channel 8 show at 7pm too. And basically its showing a girl who's really really ugly and a bit fat, and how she got treated unfairly. Things changed when she went for cosmetic surgery. And its true isn't it? If you're ugly, people tend to treat you with less respect, less kindness.

That's the ugly side of humans... we all aim for beauty, for perfection, that ugliness is discarded and thrown away, put in a place where we can't see it.

Beh. Its getting depressing. I'm going to get a bit of rest...

Thoughts on Babies

I stayed over yesterday night. Supposed to be for an audit, but i'll tell you what happened..

After everyone left at 5+pm, me and Fidelis decided to jog a bit. We jogged for 2.4km, and decided to walk a couple of rounds to cool off. We chatted, and he told me the reason why he doesn't have a gf is because he's too lazy... or he can't be bothered.. he wants to be ready with enough money to support a wife before he gets a gf...

That's ... so ... practical. It reminds me of ..

At age 20+
"Lets have a child when we're ready"
"Yea, its too early for us to start a family"

At age 30+
"Maybe its time we have a child?"
"Hmm, no, i'm still developing my career... i'm almost there now."
"Okay."

From here it splits into 4 paths

(A)
"I'm afraid you're too old to have a baby..."

(B)
"Stop the baby's crying! Where's Maria?"
"How can i work with all these noise?"

(C)
"He's our pride and joy, lets treat him better..."
(The beginning of a spoiled boy)

(D)
Normal lar. Your normal childhood...

Hmm. As you can see, the possibly of having a normal childhood is only 25%... so start having babies before the age of 30..~ Its good for the mother, And the child..~ (Read it in an article somewhere)

Hmm yea. After the job, watched "Fu, Lu, Shou" last episode, shun bian eat Botak Jones, which's western by the way, and then took a bathe. After that, we played for an hour or 2 of games, then i went online for a while, then ... went to sleep. Was so tired.

I can't believe it. I squandered away my night just like that.~ No more Ops Frozen for me..~

What shaped me... and my life... what makes me the way i am...

Why?

How did i turn out to be the way i am now?

I believe that what i am now, is the direct opposite of my dad, and some remnants of him in my personality that i could not erase...

My father is loud. I am soft spoken.
My father is petty. I am generous (mostly).
My father is well, kanchong... i'm.. mostly emotionless, though i try Not to be kanchong.

Some things i inherited from being in this family are well,

I'm honest... i can't tell lies... i'll get really worried and everything.
I do the right things..(more with being a personal motto), and i'm a nice guy most of the time.

Now, some things i don't know who's influence is leaning on, is why i allow myself to be rejected so many times, and get hurt so much. Why i lack self-confidence so much, and have low self-esteem at times. (Nice guys finish last, maybe that's why?)

Could it be the things i've seen? The things i've read? The events that shaped my life? The people in my life who changed me?

Could be one of the above, could be all of it.

But all these has added up to make me the person i am today. Love it or hate it, i'm Peng Jianxiong Aaron, and you're stuck with me for a friend(if you treat me as one).

Today - Trip to SGH

Because i slept really late, like about 5+6.. (was playing ffx, and watching South park), i woke up at around 12+.

Ate lunch and read a bit, then cleaned my fan and my sister's fan, and then read a bit before sleeping..

Woke up at 5, prepared to go to SGH...

We reached there at around 6:15, and i was quite surprised when i saw the ward... there were 8 beds crammed together in one room... and well, it was directly connected to the room beside, so there's like 16 beds in 1 big room.

I'm not quite used to this. All the times i went to SGH or NUH for that matter, its always been 6 beds a place... or maybe not.. *shrugs*

My grandma looked fine, she could smile and talk and everything, but i guess she's been in pain for so long.. i can't really say.

The people around her however.. looked like they were in pain. Directly in front of her was an old lady who was groaning like a child... the nurses eventually changed her diapers and she quietened.. i think its kinda sad...

The lady on her right couldn't quite hear, the lady on her left had a chest tube.. or was it ETT insertion? Couldn't talk of course, but there were lots of people around her..

Later on my Aunt and Uncle came.. and they stayed to chat with grandma while me, sis and bro talked together...

Had dinner at Kopitiam downstairs.. boy, the people at the counter made me feel like i owe them something..

We then went home... reached home at around 10.. then hurried up and blogged this before sis complains too much... heh.

Another week ahead...

14th Jan ... Sat

Saturday:

After i woke up at 8+, me and Greg took 257 cause there's no bus.. grr. Reached JP and took 187 back.. went to the market and bought food, then went home..

Downloaded Animes, and watched a few while i ate.. then i went to sleep..
Think i slept from 12-4...

There's supposed to be a bbq at night.. Its a Tuas medical centre thing... i already paid $15 for it.. but ... i realised only Jiaxin and Fidelis is going... (after i called everyone and reached rongming). Then Jiaxin told me he's not going.. then Fidelis couldn't be contacted... so well.. considering it takes near an hour to reach Pasir Ris... and 40 minutes for the bus to reach the place...

I decided not to go.. ended up went to the Library, and met Jooseng up for dinner. Supposed to go KTV, but ended up well.. didn't go. I was listening to some motivational speeches on my Ipod... and i feel fired up and Hungry! haha... Fai would know what i'm talking about..

Then went home and played some FFX. Boy... those were the days.. i missed the game so.. Blitzball, monster arena... Aeons.. it just feels so nostalgic playing the game...

I wonder when there will be another FFX type of game..

Update on Darryl

I was watching the Jue Ding Superstar Chinese New Year song on tv on sat at around 12am... it was pretty cool. Or rather, i think Kelly looked cool in that mtv.. You really should see how she looked when she just got in the finals of the 24... so different now..

Anyways i was asking Darryl why he wasn't in the MTV and he said that only the top 10 were in there.. he'll be 'graduating' in 2 weeks, and will be station in the MRTs, patrolling...

That should be interesting... imagine a scenario like this:
"Hey, isn't that Darryl?"
"yea, lets get his autograph~" (runs over)
"Hello Darryl, can i have your autograph?"
"erm, sorry, i'm on duty now, can you find me during my lunch break?" (Dazzling smile)
(swooning girls) "Of course.. we'll see you later..~"

That will really be quite interesting, though i don't think it'll work out exactly like that.. haha.. I wonder if i'll see him on the 3rd... or maybe he'll be on duty. hmm~

Random thoughts

Friends are easy to make, but good friends are hard to find.
So when i find them, i must keep.
Even when i store them away, someday when i need them, i know they'll be there.

I thought this up, isn't it true?

Duty medic + Internal Audit + Friday the 13th!

Well what do you know, Today happens to be friday the 13th, and it also happens to be the first duty i'll ever do... and also the first internal audit as well... How lucky is that?

Just thinking of what happened yesterday is making me feel.. abit out of it..

Here we go..

I reached at around 7:30+, and changed, then started to do stuff for the DM, like signing HOTO, etc. But before i managed to do anything much, it was time for first parade. Everyone had to do a survey, and i had to man the counter again. Picked up some calls, paces couldn't log on, so had to run here and there to settle this thing.

Then .. i think i'll just touch on the more important stuff..

I didn't have time to really relax, after office hours this Encik Goh stayed behind to brief me on the audit thingy. I know he means well, but there's no way i can possibly know everything he asked of me.. i know what i need to do for the most part, but... ~ In the end we spent more than an hour talking... and after that he came to chat with me some more too..

I read a bit, watched a bit of tv, and took a bathe. After that, someone came to report sick, and we had to activate the ambulance and send him to Pasir Lebar, but not after waiting for quite some time..

You see, there's no MO after office hours, and if need be we send them to Pasir Lebar.. We can't even give out medicine.

And by the time i'm back in Tuas, it was 11+. Its an interesting experience this sending of case, but i don't think i want to do it too often.. I was supposed to have a chat with Kaili tonight, but ended up like that..

I sure hope She had a better day than me. Cause at 12:15 or was it 40+? I think NOB and the Guardhouse called me for the number to PLMC.. cannot ask earlier, must ask now..? Please lor..

When i woke up at 8+, i felt like i didn't sleep at all... Lets hope i don't have so many of these kinda days..

In the dark you'll see the light..

When was the last day i saw the sun? Its been raining for so long... i don't remember seeing the sun in the past few ... days... weeks...

Today, i was suddenly reminded of a line in the song...

"In the dark you'll see the light.."

I wonder where i got that line from..

But its true isn't it?

If its bright and sunny all the time, when will you appreciate the sun?
If you're happy and contented everyday, you'll find it harder to appreciate happiness...
And you will not find out that you really like something, until you lose it..

Eh, i think i'm missing the point.

The point i wanted to make originally was..
There are friends and people who means well around you all the time, but until you're going through a bad patch, you may not see them and appreciate them..

But that's me. I tend to rumble and rumble, until i don't know what i'm saying anymore.. haha..

Hope you all enjoyed the 4 entries i made today..~

I'm trying to get some pictures and a tagboard up.. but i need help.. bah. Pictures are hard to get cause i'm living in a base half the time, and i don't have any camera phone.. so bear with me..

Suicide attempt!

I reached home, and was eating dinner when i heard some madman shouting. Assuming it was a beng, i decided to ignore it. It happened a few more times, and then stopped...

Later, as i cleared up my dishes, my mom told me its actually a distraught man who wanted to seek his own death.. she told me the police were still there.

True enough, when i looked out the window, i saw 1 police car, 3 SCDF vehicles including one fire engine, and 1 ambulance. Later on, as they left, 2 more police cars took their place... i guess some arrests are in order, since a suicide attempt as defined in s309 of the Penal Code (Cap 224) states that..

Attempt to commit suicide.
309. Whoever attempts to commit suicide, and does any act towards the commission of such offence, shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to one year, or with fine, or with both.

Uh-huh. And i saw a few other people looking at my block too.. that's how i knew that something was up i guess...

It wasn't really exciting. I didn't hear any sirens... i didn't well.. Feel anything. Hmmph! I guess suicides are becoming really common... or maybe not..?

Today.

Woke up at 6:30 the next day because i forgot to turn off my watch's alarm =_=
Then tried to sleep again but i didn't really.. but 7:30 we woke up and brushed up.

The dawn of a new day... the most important highlight was when i spent close to an hour at the reception myself... The duty medics were off getting food from the canteen, and 'seniors' were playing foosball..

And what did i do? I manned the line, which meant picking up and attending to 5-6 calls, did an FFI for ORD, took blood pressure for someone, went to dispensary and got drugs for the FFI guy after going to MO's room to attend to his instructions...

I can't take too many of that.. I believe its one of the rare times i've actually sweated in the medical centre, from running around... In this cold weather too..~

Oh yea, i felt so busy the whole day.. had to change the schedule for Gavin, and he called me so many times... sometimes its a wonder how a simple thing can cause so much hassle..

Met up with my Prudential agent in the evening at macdonalds.. i'm surprised to say i felt quite nervous when i met up with her.. she tried to make small talk but i shunned her off at first, saying i was quite tired and wanted to sleep.. later though, it didn't turn out that bad and we chatted a bit as we walked back to the MRT station..

I fear this is really turning into a diary. Someone sms me if this gets too boring.. haha.. So far, only those who are close to me should be chasing or even knows this blog exists... i've let 4 people know so far.. So be glad you're one of them.. haha..~

Stay in yesterday..

Yesterday wasn't so bad. urm.. lets see. I er... forgot what happened during office hours... eh what the.. i swear i'm losing my memory...

Just yesterday i was checking my phone and i realised i called 2 strange numbers. One of them i realised today was called by Gary. The other one i'm still wondering.. maybe someone borrowed my phone too i guess.

After office hours.. i spent some time on msn talking with a couple of friends, new and old.. Celine expressed shock at my entry about her death in my dream.. haha.. But then again, we really do care about you Celine... don't make it sound like you're all alone...

I talked a bit to my neighbour Kaixin. It's really funny. I think i made quite alot of jokes while chatting with her cause i'm talking to Jiaxing and Chee Han at the same time... Oh yea, did i say i was staying back at the Medical Centre?

They actually have a computer linked to the internet.. but only 1, so we all have to share..~

Oh yea, the pantry stinks! Our duty driver of the day said that a rat probably died there in the afternoon. But i beg to differ. I've smelled this 'fragrance'... this punishing 'aroma' before, and i swear it belongs to someone who's just around us. I don't want to mention names, and before i start being evil, i shall change the topic.

I slept at near 12.. cause i did a bit of reading..

Random thoughts

I like to think of life as a road.
We walk slowly on the road, and sometimes people join us
They join us for some time, and we learn from them
Be it good or bad, we learn their way of talking... the way they act...
Or even their habits...

Sooner or later, one by one, they leave us.
But they will forever live in our heart.

A few times, i tried to leave my path, hoping to join up with another...
But it was either unsuccessful, or didn't last long..

A few times i see my friends jump off the road, into the cliffs...
Because they couldn't stand walking alone again, after linking up with another..

And there's one, who probably didn't want to cause me any hurt,
But ended up doing it multiple times anyway.

... I suck at this thing. I don't know what i'm writing anymore... maybe i'll revise it later..

Happy Hari Raya~

Greetings to all my muslim readers.. (right, as if i have any). Its a new year for you and for all of us..~ Hope you enjoy this first day of your new year, which starts as a holiday..

For me.. i spent Yesterday ... working. We had a 'test' in which all of us were asked questions. If we didn't make it, we will stay the night til today morning. The whole ordeal lasted for 1 hr 20minutes, and i was just glad when its over...

And our driver got scolded for a full 30 minutes infront of all of us before we were allowed to leave... Lets leave That memory behind.

We wanted to catch the 6:15 last bus, but it seems the bus left before 6:10... and hence we had to take 257. Went to JP, bought a card holder, and went to MOS to buy an iced milk tea... had to wait for it cause the little girl there forgot about it... First time ever i waited for a drink..~ The girl was smsing... must be a guy or something ba..~

Went home and made a new friend, Kaixin from my Block... (her name reminds me of Jiaxin...) its quite cool actually, this wholivesnearyou thingy. I added her to my msn, and talked a little... and spent the rest of the time playing Tower Defence and Genji (ps2).

For today... i woke up at near 12, and idled a bit before Ricki asked me to go ktv... i agreed, and i also agreed to meet Qs, Quan and Choi at Queensway... basket, ended up i go there for 10+ minutes, bought a shirt, and we had to take a cab back...

Went to JP and played HOTD4 2 times, once with quan, once with Qs, and 2 times Isuka, and left for JE. I saw Huishan and friend at Je, and she looked.. so small. I think i have really grown a bit bigger... Ricki couldn't make it.. so i met Jooseng and Tianzhong instead... later after dinner, went up to kbox to tell me its $23 each... there's no 7-10pm... aargh. I've been had by the kbox girl at clementi!

We went to Jooseng's house after that, Tianzhong wanted to take something from him, and ended up playing 1 match of Dota there.. it was there i msged Kaili, and asked her how is she.

Her grandma fell, and had to be hospitalized... and she was feeling a bit down.. i don't want to write to much here. Sometimes i think i'm treating this blog as a diary, really.

Don't blame me if its too diary-lized... the last time i did something like this was an online diary..~

New Year Resolutions

Its a bit late, but i finally came up with a few New Year resolutions.

1. To become a cheerful Aaron. One that will stay cheerful, and with a sparkle in his eyes, instead of dead and lifeless ones, and an absent-minded one.

2. To not be trouble by past memories or relationships. Its a new year, no need to be bogged down by the past anymore.

3. To save up. Gee, i don't know how i managed to spend so much last year, especially during December. Must be the new clothes i bought...

4. To keep all my promises. Eh, i don't promise easily, but if i do and did not fulfill it, it probably means i've forgotton, which is linked with Resolution number 1.

5. To exercise regularly. What can i say? I want to slim down and stay healthy.

6. To walk and advance forward bravely. I realise i've been lacking the courage to move on in some aspects.. the scars of the past still feels fresh, but i will move on.. for my happiness and my future.

7. To keep my current friends, and to make even more new ones. I believe making new friends will enrich my current life, and on that note, to make no enemies...~

8. Last but not least, to find someone whom i can love and be loved back in return...

Happy New Year guys, may all our resolutions come true..

The past 2 days ..~

Its been raining.. and raining.. and raining.

Therefore pretty much what i did was to stay at home and read, ps2, read, wc3, read.
I finished David Gemell's 'Sword in the storm' in 2 days... i think i spent around 7-8 hours on that book.

I played Fatal Frame until the ghosts are getting seriously hard. Hard to control, the character actually feels weak, no more feeling of triumph as i successfully exorcise the ghost, but a feeling of relief.

But i found out that i really like David Gemell's books. There's a sense of ... well-being you can feel when you read. Like there's hope ... even in a dark storm, a little bright light shines, and soon it'll be day. Unlike Terry Brooks... whoa, if i read his books now i'll definately be feeling all melancholy and the like.

It feels good to stay at home in the rain. Ironically, in Fatal frame 3, the only dialogue that i remember is from Miku "Its raining again." Its forever raining in Fatal Frame3...

But all is not a bed of roses, i realised, with a start, that one of my good friend has turned Gay. I guess it was a matter of time, since he always told me life and girls are boring and repetitive... and since he has been attracting his fair share of gays since a long time ago... its really inevitable. To say i wish him happiness now would be a lie.

I hope he can come back and be straight again. I do not believe in bbr or ggr, even though it is possible and i accept them.. its just ... not right.

100 Things you didn't know

1. The UK's first mobile phone call was made 20 years ago this year, when Ernie Wise rang the Vodafone head office, which was then above a curry shop in Newbury.

2. Mohammed is now one of the 20 most popular names for boys born in England and Wales.

3. While it's an offence to drop litter on the pavement, it's not an offence to throw it over someone's garden wall.

4. An average record shop needs to sell at least two copies of a CD per year to make it worth stocking, according to Wired magazine.

5. Nicole Kidman is scared of butterflies. "I jump out of planes, I could be covered in cockroaches, I do all sorts of things, but I just don't like the feel of butterflies' bodies," she says.

6. WD-40 dissolves cocaine - it has been used by a pub landlord to prevent drug-taking in his pub's toilets.

7. Baboons can tell the difference between English and French. Zoo keepers at Port Lympne wild animal park in Kent are having to learn French to communicate with the baboons which had been transferred from Paris zoo.

8. Devout Orthodox Jews are three times as likely to jaywalk as other people, according to an Israeli survey reported in the New Scientist. The researchers say it's possibly because religious people have less fear of death.

9. The energy used to build an average Victorian terrace house would be enough to send a car round the Earth five times, says English Heritage.

10. Humans can be born suffering from a rare condition known as "sirenomelia" or "mermaid syndrome", in which the legs are fused together to resemble the tail of a fish.

The rest can be found on http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4566526.stm

1st stay-in, Absent-mindedness

Not going to touch on what happened in the day. Just the usual learning of stuff.

For the stay in part, after office hours, we changed into shorts and singlets/shirts, slippers. Watched tv, played table soccer, locked the doors, switched off the unused lights, cleared the rubbish, and slacked.

It was quite an experience... and not a bad one either. I think staying in may actually be a fun thing... so long i don't do it that often.

I'm really not in the mood to blog. For some reason i feel so tired..

There was someting earlier that i wanted to share here.. but aargh, can't remember it now.

I think i'm slowly getting more and more laid-back. Many times i feel like i'm doing things in a trance, and i wake out of it some time later. For example, i put my shirt outside on a bench. I thought i kept it in my cabinet, but no, it seems i didn't. I thought i didn't turn on the fan in my room, but when i left my room and came back again, i saw it was on.

Now, this shows that i'm either getting really absent-minded, or strange forces are at work. I'm inclined to believe in the former, since i have been getting quite out-of-it as of late.

I think i need a goal, a dream... but i feel so spent. There's nothing propelling me forward....

Ahhhh~

Work work work...

Let me touch on the traffic this morning.

I left my house at 7:05, and caught the bus at 7:13, thinking that i should reach latest 7:30. But what do you know? I reached lakeside mrt station (7 bus stops to be precise) at 7:40. That makes 27 minutes. Wow!

In the medical centre, it wasn't that bad in the morning, definately less than yesterday, but i still had quite alot to do today. Learnt alot from Foo. Actually did a Psychotic illness case, which was rather interesting...

In the afternoon we actually had a meeting for all department heads, their understudy, and the Senior medics. Since i'm the document IC understudy, i went for the 1hr20mins meeting, which was about the audit. Whoa. That was really something. Makes me stressed out at the end of it all. But stress is supposed to be normal in my job. Hmmph.~

We're supposed to have 'live' today, but since it was raining, we decorated the medical centre instead. Its a bit early, but they wanted to put it up so we did. It was really quite fun, and we had the 'festive' spirit there.

After that decided to meet up Noel to go Jp for dinner. He brought his brother around 30 minutes later, though he promised me 15... and we went for some HotD4. The arcade is losing its appeal to me. Its getting really boring... i guess i need a new hobby..

We chatted at macs after the arcade. Noel's brother is really quite like Noel himself, just that he's more dramatic and energetic.. ah, the vigours of youth~ Haha..

Then went home... then started msging people in wholivesnearyou cause i had a message.. Its actually quite fun this thing..

Tomorrow there's a cat1 test at Changi.. we need to be there in the morning. How are we going to pass i have no idea, but we shall see how tomorrow goes..

1st day of work...in the new year~

It wasn't quite what i expected...

First of all, when i took the bus, i realised that my poly ezlink card had expired. Thankfully i had the cash to pay for my ride...
Secondly, the ride took 20 minutes instead of 10... ouch!
Thirdly, the queue for the bus to Tuas was so long! Amazing!

And to add on, the queue INTO the base itself was just as long...
I reached at 8:20+, thankfully with a few others old birds, and Kiat.. so i didn't feel That bad. But whoa, looks like i'll need to leave waaay earlier next time...

In the morning it was so crowded too. In the end we have 40+ people reported sick in the morning. I think that's a first. Its crowded Everywhere!

Nothing much to elaborate on. We did area cleaning today... for some reason i feel so listless today. I think i got a headache... Oh yea, we made our pass today. And boy. I look fat! My face was tilting somewhere too. Darn you clerk! You'll pay for that someday! Oh well. As if it really matters..

In the end when it was time to go home and i reached lakeside again, i was already feeling quite weary. It was only when the bus came towards me that i realised my Ezlink card expired! Aargh. I could have done it at lakeside too... (realised that after i boarded the bus). I really need to start thinking straight. I feel like i've been living in a dream these past few months(not in a good way.) I don't think much anymore.

Finally got to use the comp at 8. My dad had his finger operated on and i had to do some emails for him. My grandma just came over, and i just saw how frail and old she looks... man. I really haven't been looking much these days... So many things have happened and i just seem to whizz past it..

I guess this blog is here to remind me not to dream my way through life... Remind myself to wake up as well.

Gee i'm really having a headache. Think i'll take some pills... maybe i'll have something to add later..~

New year updates

So i went to Club Momo after all in the evening of 31st Dec 2005. There was really quite a crowd.. Alot of us FfRians were there.. from Kevin, Alvin, Juliet, Weixiang, Zhilong, Wenzhen, Dahong and a few others. I brought Jooseng along too.

The place was quite big, compared to the other 2 clubs i've been to, Rush(oh, techno bengs paradise), O-bar(really old people... well, old enough anyway), Momo is quite a good place. They play R&B, which isn't so bad, and the place was .. spacey enough until 10-15 minutes before 12am. That's when things got really packed. So packed it was crazy.. no place no move.

I got into the moment.. i guess. And i left at about 12:45. Considering i entered at around 10+... and considering my limit is 2 hours.. i guess i broke a new record?

After that went for some food with Jooseng, then walked around to find an unoccupied cab, which was near impossible. Walked for a while before Jooseng called up Jiancheng and managed to get a ride for us..

----------

1st day of the year was spent slacking at home, reading and doing nothing much in particular. Went out to marina south with v7.. or rather v4, since only 4 of us went. Qs drived us there, and we took a whole hour to find seats, since it was raining... and the fact that it IS the new year.

So we talked and ate, and went to the arcade after that. There's really nothing much to say actually.

---------

2nd day of the year was spent finishing up the book, and resting. There are some quotes i would like to share...

Or rather, a well wishing quote..

"May all your dreams come true, except for one."
Why? If all of a man's dream come true, then what will he live for..?

and another...
"Even if a million people believe in a foolish thing, it is still foolish."

I'll leave it to you to figure out what this means.

I have to go now. Sis needs the comp. Guess i'll do a New Year Resolutions page up soon. But til then, take care guys..~ Tomorrow is a new working day...~